I finally created an account on a dating website...

"RotaryLover" (rotarylover) 01/09/2014 at 20:17 • Filed to: Dating sites

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After years of saying "hell no I won't do this shit, it's useless. I prefer to meet women face to face." and having a nice night with friends filled with alcohol, they created it while I watched with despair. We then went berserk on looking and sending messages to girls I found interesting. The thing is, my friends are trolls. They started sending nasty responses to some of the girls I really liked which was kinda hilarious but as expected, I got no responses. We then got to the account of my girl friend (not gf). She started trollin' guys she found cute and acted confident enough but looked like douches. I think I never laugh that hard in my life after seeing her messages and the replies she got...I'm going to hell anyways. On a serious note, I'm trying to make a breakthrough on that site. Any tips oppo? Have a classic GTR as my gratitude.

BJ > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:23

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For great success, you must send unsolicited pictures of your penis to the women that interest you. There is no other way.

RotaryLover > BJ 01/09/2014 at 20:25

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That's what I thought! Shall I rub it with some Vicks? And then take a picture?

TurboSloth > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:26

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This sounds like when my friends "helped" me make a Facebook when I was in the 8th grade.

KB Garage > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:26

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Go to jezebel.com

Search "dating site"

Read comments

Return to oppo more confused than when you left

Don't do any of the previous steps

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:26

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No tips really, but if I was a girl.. I'd marry you in a heartbeat if you had a car like that :P

Good luck mate :)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > BJ 01/09/2014 at 20:26

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KB Garage > TurboSloth 01/09/2014 at 20:29

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8th grade? I'm really starting to question my age and participation around here.

edit: removes tennis balls from walker.

"Can I stay now?"

/dentures fall out

"never mind."

RotaryLover > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 20:33

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I'm doing it, for the lulz.

RotaryLover > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 01/09/2014 at 20:34

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Hahaha thanks man! :D

N/A POWAAAHH > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:34

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does..does that work..?

RotaryLover > N/A POWAAAHH 01/09/2014 at 20:36

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So far I got 4 people that blocked me. But I wont give up that easily!!

KB Garage > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:36

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Don't say I didn't warn you. The most I ever got out of that was don't send a message that just says "hi."

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh 01/09/2014 at 20:40

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You gold digger, you... :]

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 01/09/2014 at 20:42

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Hehe.. sure am, sure am.. I'd almost consider going gay for that car :)

RotaryLover > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 20:42

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You we're right...I learned nothing!

Aaron James > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:44

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I tried online dating a few years ago. Met about a half dozen in person, all were emotionally broken, borderline psychotic, and some really scared me. Good luck with it and be careful. Also if they are even slightly good looking then they will have tons of guys chasing them and even after a few dates they still stay on the site waiting for someone better to come along. Nothing at all positive came out of it for me.

KB Garage > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:45

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For the love of all that is holy, I hope you didn't...

You did, didn't you?

Aaron James > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 20:46

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Stay as far away from the comment section there as you can. Lots of man hating going on over there.

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:46

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Beats me, I've yet to gather the courage to ask my clinics partner out for a movie, And she's practically asking for it... No, wait, that didn't sound right... What I meant is that she's mentioned multiple times already she won't be doing anything at all after work and she hasn't and therefore would very much like to see The Hobbit. What she really means by that, though, I've no idea.

Aaron James > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:50

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I will mention that my high school girlfriend used match.com to find her husband and she's been real happy with him and the overall experience with that site. It's less of a crazy magnet than some of the others, or so I hear.

CAR_IS_MI > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 20:51

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hi

KB Garage > CAR_IS_MI 01/09/2014 at 20:53

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I lol'd

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 20:54

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Remember the hot/crazy scale, it's all about balance:

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > TurboSloth 01/09/2014 at 20:55

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Oh Jesus, I think I just broke my hip reading that...

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 20:56

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You should also threaten them if they block you, that always worked for me.

/Imaterribleperson.

Aaron James > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/09/2014 at 21:01

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If they were hot, I'd deal with crazy. I went for average and below looking hoping to find someone normal and down to earth. Also I'm in my late 30's and it seemed all girls in there early to mid thirties on the site I used had lots of kids and 3 or 4 failed marriages, no thanks.

Bad Idea Hat > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/09/2014 at 21:03

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Ahh Christ my back!

RotaryLover > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 01/09/2014 at 21:04

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You never did!? After what I told you??

RotaryLover > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 21:05

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Yes...I'm scarred to life.

RotaryLover > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/09/2014 at 21:06

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I got a picture of me holding a katana. This should do the trick!

BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:07

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I'm.... trying... :p

Our internship just started, so there's plenty of time still, but at the same time if I screw up, the rest of the month is going to be tense, to say the least. But yeah, I gotta do this, tomorrow, not a day after.

Aaron James > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 01/09/2014 at 21:08

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I actually met a girl who was 28, had 5 kids and was divorced 4 times. She claimed that it was all the man's fault in each of her failed marriages. She thought she was perfect but she was literally insane. Like you'll wake up missing limbs if you cross her insane. I didn't find out until date 5 her real situation She said online she had "kids" and was "divorced" No mention of divorced 4 times with 5 kids. She'd say she wasn't comfortable talking about her kids until she knew someone better. I had to change my phone number and didn't sleep for weeks fearing she'd burn my house down when I told her I was no longer interested.

RotaryLover > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 21:09

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Girls do have it easier I gotta say...

RotaryLover > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 21:09

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Girls do have it easier I gotta say...

RotaryLover > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 01/09/2014 at 21:11

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Better have a response and have your head cleared than never ask and deal with regrets.

Aaron James > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:19

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Yeah they do. One of the problems is There are lots of guys who run the online dating circuit just to get laid, they know all the right things to say and present themselves as the ideal partner, if you are honest and genuine like I was, you just can't compete with the false facade of perfection that these people put out there and if a girl has been there for any time at all she has run across several of these, been duped, and just assume you are doing the same thing if you try to be pleasant.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:22

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I went on Match back in '07 after getting divorced, and met a lot of great weemen. Tons of first dates, lots of second dates, a few third dates and then I met my wife. Coolest thing about that site is being able to see & chat with someone you think is pretty and cool. Thing is, so does every other swingin' dick on that site which is why women get much more responses than guys.

The key to success? Patience. Don't look like an ogre in your profile photos, and put a lot of thought into what you say in your profile. Ladies actually read that stuff, so if they see you wrote "Yo, let's hook up" they write you off as an idiot & move to the next dude. Approach this the right way, and you'll meet good people (you do have some screening to do ahead of time to weed out the potential psychos). As far as gettin' your funk on... if you do this the right way that'll work itself out. It did for me, and '07 was a great, good year :)

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 21:24

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It's all part of the screening process AJ. I went through it in 2007 and had a great time, and some of the best stories came out of it. Who doesn't love "that crazy bitch" stories?

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 21:25

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Okay, I didn't encounter *that* kind of crazy... You win. Never any "boil your bunny" types - just some angry weemen that still hated their exes.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 21:27

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"Where are those goddamm blue pills?? I think she's in the mood tonight..."

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:29

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No, they really don't. Women know many (most?) guys are just out to get laid, so their guard is up. They get many more responses on those sites than guys, but that's just the way it is. If you come off sincere you have a chance to get noticed. Be a standout but don't be creepy.

RotaryLover > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 21:29

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Indeed...I'm honest too much. But I think I've fixed that. I'm using a app called Tinder now. It's much, MUCH better imo.

RotaryLover > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 01/09/2014 at 21:32

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Thats what I meant, they get responses with ease and get to pick and choose, while us we gotta wait.

davedave1111 > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:32

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My advice would be not to bother. You might find something through a dating site, but all you really need to do is start doing something that leads to meeting lots of new {whichever gender(s) you prefer}.

KB Garage > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 01/09/2014 at 21:34

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Eavesdropping on my bedroom again I see.

Aaron James > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 01/09/2014 at 21:37

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That's great, I'm glad you found love. Nothing better than a truly happy ending. I wish you both happiness and success in the future.

offroadkarter > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 21:38

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I was reading a couple of articles the other night about how one of the writers was being harassed on the internet cause she's a landwhale. Which made her do the "Feministas Unite!" battle cry to take down ALL "sexist bullying" on the internet.

I was laughing and shaking my head at the same time.

http://jezebel.com/we-must-not-sh…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

This should paint a clearer picture

http://jezebel.com/if-comedy-has-…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Aaron James > BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion 01/09/2014 at 21:41

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Try something simple like a bite to eat after class/work. "I was thinking about grabbing (whatever delicious food is close) after class/work, want to come with me?" That way it's not a date so you wont feel as much pressure. Just two people hanging out.

KB Garage > offroadkarter 01/09/2014 at 21:41

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Can you just give me the cliff's notes? Please don't make me go back there. Was there actually a resolution or just a rallying of the troops to comment and commiserate?

offroadkarter > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 21:43

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I don't think so, the comments section was just "OMG I'm so sorry, men are pigs, u r beautiful" a thousand times over. The second link has endless screenshots of "filthy sexist pigs" saying "awful" things.

I'm doing what you said not to do and searched "dating site" and now I'm reading bullshit... I assumed that was reverse psychology, and you WANTED us to do that. Right?

RotaryLover > davedave1111 01/09/2014 at 21:45

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I already do and meet a lot of women this way in karaoke bars. But my friends wanted me to try dating sites since I'm still single. I have no expectation tho.

KB Garage > offroadkarter 01/09/2014 at 21:47

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No. Dang it. No! Stay away from there! Trying to give my fellow oppopotamuses fair warning. Do as I say, not as I do.

davedave1111 > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 21:49

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If you're meeting plenty of women already, then I'm not sure a dating site will do much for you. It's only really a way to meet people. If you're not getting anywhere with the ones you meet, there might be a reason for that. Then again, maybe it's just that your kind of woman doesn't go to karaoke bars :)

offroadkarter > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 21:53

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Its either I go to Gawker and hear how the fascist conservatives are all going to gun down Americans and destroy the world and take away our ipads and starbucks

Or I go to Jezebel and read how all men are sexist pigs who want nothing more than a woman who puts out and makes sandwiches and doesn't weigh 350lbs

This is why I think Jalopnik should break away from gawker media lol

RotaryLover > davedave1111 01/09/2014 at 22:01

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Yeah that too...while I sing some rock, they sing some Miley Cyrus. I do tend to attract the rock crowd hahaha.

TurboSloth > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 22:10

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I'm 20, in my 3rd year of college. I've had Facebook for a good 8 years. I was like 13 when I started it.

D > RotaryLover 01/09/2014 at 22:11

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I write girl friend as girl space friend.

offroadkarter > KB Garage 01/09/2014 at 22:11

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goddammit now I'm gonna have people from gawker AND jezebel leaving me hate comments, its hard enough to keep up with all the hatemail on the FP! lol

KB Garage > offroadkarter 01/09/2014 at 22:14

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You're welcome!

edit: sorry, I thought that was hilarious and so spot on that it needed to be shared.

KB Garage > TurboSloth 01/09/2014 at 22:27

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Well, hit me up when you can drink legally... if I'm not dead.

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Aaron James 01/09/2014 at 22:29

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"Nothing better than a happy ending"

No truer words have ever been spoken.

RotaryLover > Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom 01/09/2014 at 22:47

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I see what you did there. Ha!

overdrv > RotaryLover 01/10/2014 at 09:40

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Read the profile and look for the hot button. The is one thing or issue that they are truly interested in and it's in the profile. Don't say they look hot/cute/beautiful, 800 guys have already said that they are looking for a connection to something that is important to them. For my wife it was the 73 Vega GT Drag Car. My first message to her told her she should have bought a FORD. But the car was something she was interested in and we talked about it and that got the ball rolling.

Enginerrrrrrrrr > RotaryLover 01/10/2014 at 11:01

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Just stick with it and go for the girls you are interested in.

I was on Match.com and found my GF over a year ago, I was dumbfounded it even worked. Now we are talking about gettin hitched...

Shit's cray, yo.

RotaryLover > Enginerrrrrrrrr 01/10/2014 at 20:11

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So far I got one reply. This is not bad.

RotaryLover > Enginerrrrrrrrr 01/10/2014 at 20:11

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So far I got one reply. This is not bad.